What matters is worth shit.

When you step out of your house what do you expect?What is the most persistent thought in your mind at that moment?How exactly do you feel?Angry?Sad?Fearful?

Or maybe you're cheerful?Awaiting the new day new start?I would just love to know how that feels!Felling happy and content! Enjoying the moment and looking forward to the day with gusto!

Morbid thoughts right? I know sometimes i just can't help it!Seems everything in my life is up for ruin! I sometimes look around and feel like the world is crushing me down everytime I try to get aspring in my step!! And those are the moments when i'm part angry and part scared.Because I feel there's a party pooper somewhere out there wos just luky to have me as a scapegoat because the sheer will power which is required to rewrite destiny is not within me! Hats off to those who grabbed destiny by it's throat,taught it to stay out of their way and voila they were successful.

But thats them and this is me! Now i am not particularly depressed by my position,far from it. Infact I pity those who are!Truth is peace is a blasphemous commodity which you achieve by curbing ambition and that's preposterous!I mean what about the need to have more?Is'nt it an inherent nature?Mahatma gandhi was a great man but wasn't he greedy?He decided to go for it all! Isn't that greed?

And see how fast i have deviated from my topic!I am sometimes disappointed by my position.That i'm not doing enough to change,my body aches at the thought of pulling my fragile will together and doing something!But i believe that one must give it a shot and hope for good results.

And the thing is he world knows ony greedy men as great men,because ambition is another form of greed and so a virtuous man might say that better be obscure than greed!Because greed is potent!You ever see the compulsive gambler or the heavy drinker or maybe the psychopathic killer?(though i sincerely hope you don't(readership is doewn as it is))What is common about great men and these apparent black sheep of our community?

The answer is that they are fixated the same way great men are to victory,good results!So come to think about it they're not all that bad! Just fixated to the wrong thing!

And that's the reason why people have vices in the first place!I mean we have all heard the term workaholic,haven't we? What does it mean?It simply means that whichever person we are talking about is not worried about anything apart from his job!Which is a good thing right?Wrong! The man is good no doubt but the problem is he loves his job?Why would a person love his job?Because he is good!He is appreciated.Remember the time our teachers used to give us stars and one got 4 while the other got 5?And how the guy/gal with 5 stars would strut and how the guy/gal with 4 stars will be peeved!And how the 4 star kids will unite and scoff at the 5 star guy!

Yup jealousy!now somebody might laugh it off as school behaviour! But the truth is people who are not good enough at what they do just like to crib about those who are?Because theyre jealous! Ofcourse you could take it the good way and beat the shit out of the 5 star guy(not literally though)But what's the frikkin use when now youre the guy being cribbed against!

But you know in all this what hurts the most.That when you top your friends are jealous of you,not understanding the hard work put in by you! And when you fall they really don't like picking the pieces.They call this a lesson which only being lonely can provide!

How silly of us!